Papa Razzi

Your Present

2006-12-27T02:18:00.000-08:00

So if you haven't seen already.....

I have moved the site back to its original location on LiveJournal!

Please bookmark this site!

Happy Holidays

2006-12-23T03:22:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of my loyal readers.

Sorry the posts have been a bit sporadic...been busy with holiday festivities - you know, when you're as famous as I am, you have at least 3 parties/day to go to! Ha...I wish! Actually I've been babysitting Britney's kids so she can go out and party!

Annnnywhooo...I don't know if I'll have access to a computer over the next few days or not. But I will definitely be posting again after the 26th. And I even have a LITTLE surprise when I return.

I hope santa brings you all a lot of cool shit.

Patricia Heaton is So Fucking Annoying

2006-12-21T03:16:00.000-08:00

When I was watching my daily dose of Conan, I had to cringe at yet another Patricia Heaton interview. She's the wife from Everybody Loves Raymond. You know, the show that is no longer running! So who the hell does she think she is that she's important enough to keep doing interviews!?!?

She showed up to Conan wearing a stupid white sweatshirt...she said her dress was too low cut. If it was too low cut for her, it must have been slit down to her vajayjay. Well, that hasn't stopped her in the past from showing off her fake ta-tas and going on and on about her looks.

In the past, this bitch has attacked other celebs for lying about plastic surgery, fought against stem-cell research, and pretty much just yapped about whatever she wanted thinking anyone gives a damn who she is.

On Conan the other night she flat-out admitted to reading her son's emails and text messages and got angry when the crowd boo'ed her and said everyone should be snooping. Maybe if she knew how to raise her kids right, she wouldn't need to be snooping so much...let alone embarrass the poor kid on national TV.

Okay...rant over! :)

Movie Trailers

2006-12-21T03:03:00.000-08:00

As a child of the 80s, I was a semi-fan of the cartoon "The Transformers". (I prefer GI Joe and He-Man though). Anyways, the newest trailer for the mega-blockbuster movie being released this July is out. You can view it here.
I must say, I wasn't that excited about this movie at first, but this new trailer definitely looks pretty cool. CGI definitely has its benefits! Too bad they couldn't get better stars for the movie.

There is also a trailer for Ocean's 13, which I haven't been able to view yet. Let me know if Brad & George look sexy as usual...

Celebrity Feuds

2006-12-21T02:29:00.000-08:00

I'm a fairly opinionated person. I enjoy a good debate, because there's usually one side I feel more strongly about than another. But now, thanks to ferrett-haired Trump and Bitchie O'Gripey, I'm really not sure whose side I"m on. Basically, Rosie O'Donnell who can never keep her fat yap shut and is apparently trying to piss off everyone she can, launched a tirade on The View yesterday about what a loser Donald Trump is for giving Miss America a 2nd chance.
Well, Donald responded (because let's face it, he'll use any excuse he can for publicity right now to help out his dying franchise The Apprentice) by saying he was going to sue Rosie and he flat-out called her fat and talked about her fat mouth. I did get some slight amusement from that.

Here are two grown adults, calling each other names in the media. I think they could both use some more time with role model Tara Conner (miss USA). I'm starting to wish there was a REAL celebrity deathmatch show where 2 celebrities beat the crap out of each other until one either dies or promises to never talk to the media again.

Soup....There it is...Soup There it is...

2006-12-21T02:11:00.000-08:00

So Justin Timberlake hosted SNL this past weekend, and a digital short he did with Andy Samberg called "Dick in a Box" is gathering a lot of buzz. It was funny (although I mostly appreciated the cheesey late 80s/early 90s vibe). You can now see the uncensored version of the video here.

However, I preferred the "Soup There it is/Give it on up for Homelessville" skit. There's just something about JT in a soup costume that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. So check it out!

Hefty Sharon

2006-12-19T01:19:00.000-08:00

Sharon Osborne decided to wear a hefty bag to some event. I wonder if it is the hefty cinch sak or a twist tie? Hmmmmmm

Suvivor Hates Whitey

2006-12-19T01:01:00.000-08:00

Survivor's season finale aired Sunday night. I didn't watch much of it this season, but did catch a few episodes. This season started with a racial experiment by dividing the groups ethnically - white, hispanic, black, asian. So the final four players consisted of 2 asians, a black, and a hispanic. I think one thing is clear by this "experiment"...all the other races hate the white dudes. Booooo.

Well, can you guess who won? Hmmm...think hard-working, smart, successful...that's right...an asian...and a dude too. He claims he wanted to win the contest to help break asian stereotypes. Well, way to go you successful, smart, hard-working asian dude. Don't shame your family, or you'll have to kill yourself.

I was disappointed Ozzy didn't win. He was the hispanic dude...and he even teared up in the final tribal council over his biological dad who abandoned him as a kid. Ozzy was awesome in the few episodes I did see. He definitely dominated the game athletically. I'm sure that's from all the car washes and crop fields he worked in!

Die Hard 4 Trailer

2006-12-18T03:41:00.000-08:00

Sheesh...here's the new teaser for Die Hard 4: Live Free or Die Hard. I dunno...I'm not exactly excited about this, but I am more of a Bruce Willis fan now than I was during the original Die Hards...so, maybe I will be into this in a few months. Who knows.

On an old geezer making more sequels sidenote - I saw Rocky Balboa today (aka Rocky VI) and it was actually fairly good. It was probably closer to the original than any of the other sequels in terms of heart and inspiration. If you can get over Stallone looking a little freakish, it's pretty good stuff. So be sure to see it! Cuz nothing screams Christmas movie like dudes beating the shit out of each other! :)

Angie & Jen...Make Peace or Fuck Off?

2006-12-18T03:08:00.000-08:00

So last week's mags and tabloids were focused on the fact that Angelina Jolie said she would be open to meeting Jennifer Aniston and talking things over. The ball's in Jennifer's court now I guess.

Hmmm....what is there to talk over Angie??? Here's how I envision the talk going...

Angelina: Helloooo Jennifer. How are you?

Jennifer (with arms crossed and smoking a ciggy): How the fuck do you think I'm doing?

Angelina: Well, I'm sorry if you've been hurt. Brad and I just couldn't deny our feelings any longer. You know he really wanted a family -

Jennifer: Yeah bitch...I do know that. I was his WIFE before you came along with your goody goody ambassador crap and pouty lips.

Angelina: You know, you really should try adopting foreign babies. I used to be so unhappy like you are...but once I looked into Mad's eyes, I knew my life had a purpose and I've been so happy ever since.

Jennifer: Oh yeah? And did your life's purpose include stealing my husband!?

Angelina: Gosh, I had no idea you'd take it this badly. I'm starting to feel bad. What if I give you baby Shiloh as a peace offering? I'm not really that fond of the little white brat. I like my babies to come from other countries anyways...makes my image look better. Brad feels bad too...and said he'd be okay with giving you Shiloh since we already have 3 more adoptions in the queue and another bun in the oven.

Jennifer: Oh yeah...just what I need...a little screaming brat running around the house. Nah, you keep her. I'm gonna go screw Billy Bob and swap viles of blood with him.

Golden Gripes

2006-12-18T02:50:00.000-08:00

Wow...I didn't do too bad in my Golden Globe guesses. I even got one of the categories totally right...woo hoo. And I had some other correct ones that I ended up deleting. I'm a little surprised that Babel got so many noms...but on 2nd thought...I should've known that the FOREIGN press would go for a movie focusing on various cultures.

But I'm PISSED that Leonardo DiCaprio got 2 best actor nominations. Not because he doesn't deserve them (he does!)...but being nominated twice in one category could go against him. Voters may split on the two movies he's nominated for, allowing someone else to win. Ditto for Clint Eastwood who was nominated as Best Director twice. Hmmm....a conundrum indeed. They need to reform their nomination process.

Also, I think deciding who is a "lead" and who is a "supporting" actor is BS. Jack Nicholson was a lead in The Departed, but nominated as "supporting". Beyonce was nominated as a lead and Jennifer Hudson as "supporting" even though Hudson supposedly has more screen time. pfft....these awards are so political...such a shame.

Tidbits

2006-12-14T00:54:00.000-08:00

Due to previous DUIs, Nicole Richie may face mandatory jail time. Pleeeaaaasssseeeee....these partying "stars" never do jail time. Only rappers and famous homemakers do time. Murderers, drugies, and rapists always go free. Boooooo! Richie is also claiming that the vicodin she was caught with is only used once a month when she has bad menstrual cramps. LOL...girlfriend...a chick who weighs under 100 lbs probably doesn't even get periods. Besides...we all know you were coming back from a booty call with your new boyfriend, so I'm guessing you weren't suffering from severe cramps.

Janice Dickinson was hit by a hit-and-run driver while in her car the other day. If Karma has a sense of humor, her face will be permanently damaged and no amount of plastic surgery will get it to look "young" again. ;)

J-LO and Jim Carey may have been brainwashed at TomKat's wedding and are probably becoming scientologists. OY VEY!!! If you super rich folks want to find happiness and throw your money away doing it....give it to me!!!! I'll give you BJs, carpet munchings, therapy sessions or just impart my wisdom upon you to make you happy if you want to give ME your spare change. Don't give it to Tom Cruise and Xenu. They'll never appreciate you the way I will (though I'm sure Tom does give good BJs!).

ATTENTION!!!! Brace yourselves...Peter Gabriel is NOT dead. I repeat Peter Gabriel is NOT dead. Maybe you knew that...but I was CERTAIN that about 10 years ago I heard he had died. And I thought he was dead all this time. So when I read on Genesis' webpage that Gabriel said he would not be joining them on their upcoming tour....I thought "well of course not....DUH! How can a dead man tour with them!?" Then I thought "hmmmm....maybe I'm wrong and he's not dead"....and guess what...he's not. So then, what the hell has he been doing for the last 10 years?! I ain't heard shit from him.

Golden Globe Noms

2006-12-14T00:03:00.000-08:00

Well, in just a few hours the Golden Globe Nominations will be announced. I really don't care much about the GGs. There are too many damn award shows as it is. In my mind there should be - The Oscars, the Emmys, the Tonys, the Grammys, and mmmmmmmmmmaybe the MTV video awards. All other award shows should be canceled. And the sucky thing about the GGs is that some tiny ass group of press people vote & nominate, so the nominations don't always make sense. But, just because I'm bored...here are some of my predictions:

Movie (Drama)
The Good Shepherd
The Departed
Little Children
Letters from Iwo Jima
The Queen

Movie (Comedy/Musical)
Dream Girls
Little Miss Sunshine
Borat
The Devil Wears Prada
Thank you for Smoking

Actor (Drama)
Forrest Whitaker - The Last King of Scotland
Patrick Wilson - Little Children
Michael Sheen - the Queen
Peter O'Toole - Venus
Leonardo DiCaprio - The departed or Blood Diamond

Actress (Drama)
Cate Blanchett - the good german
Helen Mirren- the queen
Judi Dench - letters on a scandal
Penelope Cruz - Volver
Meryl Streep - Prada

Actor (comedy/musical)
Eddie Murphy - dreamgirls
Jamie Foxx - dreamgirls
Sasha Baron Cohen - Borat
Greg Kinnear - LIttle miss sunshine
Aaron Eckhart - Thank you for Smoking

Actress (comedy/musical)
Jennifer Hudson - dreamgirls
Beyonce Knowles - dreamgirls
annette bening - running with scissors (even though it was mostly drama)
Anne Hathaway - prada
abigail Breslin - little miss sunshine

Best Director
Martin Scorcese - The departed
Robert DeNiro - The Good Shepherd
Clint Eastwood - Letters from Iwo Jima
Bill Condon - Dreamgirls
Stephen Frears - The Queen

Okay...I totally have no clue and changed half my answers a ton of times. But...those are my best guesses.

R.I.P. Peter Boyle

2006-12-13T23:43:00.000-08:00

A darn funny man - actor Peter Boyle - passed away today in New York at the age of 71 from multiple myeloma and heart disease. He was recently most well-known as Ray Romano's dad on Everybody Loves Raymond. But many people also remember him as Frankenstein in Mel Brooks' comedy Young Frankenstein. Personally, I remember his funny role in the silly movie Dream Team (a funny movie you should rent one of these days if you haven't seen it). In honor of Peter, here's a clip from Young Frankenstein:

Yo...Malorie!

2006-12-13T02:07:00.000-08:00

Hmmmm.......

I'm happy to see that Malorie (aka Justine Bateman) is working again! Hopefully she'll get promoted to "check-out" soon!

Shut up Barbara

2006-12-13T01:49:00.000-08:00

So Barbara Walters had her 10 most fascinating people show last night. Give me a break! What the hell makes Jay-Z sooooo interesting!? I dunno what the hell she was smokin when she came up with that list, but I'm pretty sure it rhymes with whack.

Here's who *I* would put on my list of most fascinating people of 2006 (in no particular order):

1. Beligerent biggotted celebrities - Mel, Michael Richards, Isaiah Washington

2. Disgusting anorexic celebrities - nicole, kate bosworth, lara flynn boyle

3. Crotch-bearing celebrities - britney, paris, lindsay, mischa

4. Emilio Estevez....cuz I thought he was dead all these years.

5. Carson Daily...cuz it's fascinating how his show has managed to stay on all these years.

6. Whitney Houston, if she ever gets outta rehab and off the pipe

7. Kim Jong Il - cuz let's face it...he's gonna be ruling the world in a few years...may as well start kissing his ass now.

8. Katie Holmes - because I don't think I've actually HEARD her speak since she met Tom Cruise.

9. Star Jones...just cuz I want her and Barbara to go at it (as in fight...not sex...ick!) and rip each others' hair out.

10. Steve Buscemi...just cuz he's freakin' awesome and I would love to know more about him.

So pay attention Babs...and next year, have a better list! Or I'll sick Star on you!

On the Lot

2006-12-13T01:06:00.000-08:00

Attention wannabe filmmakers!!!! Yes...this includes YOU!!!! Reality TV king ummm....what's his name....oh yeah Mark Burnett (creator of Survivor and other such shows) is teaming up with Steven Spielberg to make a Project Runway-esque show for movie directors. I LOVE this idea! I'm already dying to see it. Each week contestants will have to make a short movie for a different genre.

Damn...I wish I had a freakin' camera....I'd totally submit something. Of course, I'd need some ideas, some talent, some actors, and some knowledge of film after I got the camera. Anyways...submissions are due by February 16th. I totally encourage anyone out there to apply. You never know....

Mr. and Mrs. Perfect

2006-12-12T01:14:00.000-08:00

Brangelina were seen together on the red carpet last night for the premiere of her new movie The Good Shepard. Is it just me, or is she looking too thin? She's not in Nicole Richie territory...YET...but that clavicle under her dress looks a little scary and her face looks paler than usual. Maybe she needs to stock up on Brad's blood.

Also, Shiloh has been in hiding for quite sometime. Maybe Shiloh and Suri are being played by the same little actor baby and they take turns parading it around.

Hepatitis Looks Veddy Nice - High Five!

2006-12-12T01:10:00.000-08:00

Hmmmm....I think I see now why the marriage didn't work.

Kid Rock thinks his wife is a whore/slut...and she proves him right. Yep...pretty simple.

Nicole Richie - Arrested

2006-12-12T00:55:00.000-08:00

Nicole Richie was arrested last night for a DUI. People called 911 when they saw Richie's car on an LA freeway completely stopped in the middle of a lane facing the wrong direction. Initially, the cops were certain it was Lindsay Lohan...I mean...when 2/3 of the accidents involve her, it's a safe guess. Richie wasn't drunk, but did admit to being high on weed and vicodin at the time.

One advantage of being anorexic - the cops tried to handcuff her, but she was able to slip out of the handcuffs every time. Unfortunately, with only about 2 functioning brain cells left, it was too taxing to try and run. The 5'1" actress weighed in at only 85 pounds when she was booked.

Another day, Another Cruise Wedding Party

2006-12-11T00:54:00.000-08:00

WEll shit....the Cruise's had their 2nd wedding ceremony this weekend and I still couldn't attend. Ooooh well. I'll be there for the divorce celebration. I"ll even get Katie one of those "happy divorce" cakes with a tiny gay dwarf being beamed up to a spaceship as the bride does cartwheels.

People who were apparently there to celebrate included Steven Speilberg and his wife Kate Capshaw (boooooooooooo), James Van Der Beek (aka Dawson), and some other folks. Still no word on what's up with the Travoltas. I don't think they were at either event. Maybe the scientologists get invited to the third celebration to take place on planet Trinion in the Benzuit galaxy next Thursday.

Weekend Movie

2006-12-11T00:29:00.000-08:00

Well, Apocalypto will probably end up being the weekend's #1 movie. Guess there's a lot of Jew-haters out there who like watching movies. Nah...I actually planned on seeing it, but just didn't get around to it. Maybe next week.

I did however see Blood Diamond. Can I just say how fucccckkkkiiiiiing hot and fuckable Leo is in this movie!? Mmmmmmm mmmmmmm. I'm a sucker for accents and he had pretty much the perfect hair/goatee/tan in this movie.

Why do I love the Leo??? Because 1) despite being a huge "teeny bopper idol" and poster boy a few years back, he never sold out and started making movies just for the money. 2) He's a great actor (even if he's not always in the best movies). 3) He's genuinely concerned about the environment and puts his money where his mouth is when it comes to environmental causes. 4) He has remained friends with Tobey Maguire despite the fact that Tobey is the biggest dork in the acting world and Leo is one of the hottest. That's a true and loyal friend there....and of course 5) he's HOTTTTT! Anyways...having said that...I MIGHT be a little biased towards Blood Diamond, but I thought it was a very good.....if not great...movie.

It sheds light on a problem that hasn't been dealt with on a grand scale before with the blood diamonds. But it also points out the ridiculous game of politics and journalism...what takes precedence on the news, etc. There's a lot of action...and a LOT of violence. The love story is barely there and could use some work. But the love story between Leo and myself was going strong in my head during the movie. I had several nude scenes...but they were tastefully done, so it's okay. Who am I kidding...there was nothing tasteful about it! He ravaged me and I liked it! *blush*

Anyways...if you're a fan of thoughtful and thought-provoking dramas, you'll probably enjoy this one.

Makes me Wanna HURLey

2006-12-11T00:17:00.000-08:00

I used to really like Elizabeth Hurley...but after this recent comment, she just makes me wanna HURL:

All I know is, I want my wedding to be a very, very private affair. I don't want anything to take place in public where it feels like a movie premiere. In the end, famous people only ever end up hanging out with other famous people or in private places because it's just too exhausting to be stared at and bothered the whole time.

Guess what you big-mouthed hag...we commoners don't even give a shit about your wedding or your bastard child. And puhhhhhlease...show me a model/actress who DOESN'T like being stared at and I'll show you the backseat of a cab that doesn't have vagina cooties from Britney Spears!!

Snooooozefest

2006-12-09T00:20:00.000-08:00

Dang...I need a celebrity to die, get caught in public snorting coke, leave their spouse for someone of the same sex or SOMETHING. I mean, don't get me wrong...it HAS been an exciting week...what with all the crazy Lohan and Britney partying and weird messages being posted. But come the weekend...things always slow down.

I wish I had something funny or interesting to post...but I don't. So just enjoy this youtube clip.

Wow...unbelievable...and crazy!

tidbits

2006-12-07T02:16:00.000-08:00

Apparently some christian conservative groups are annoyed that "Studio 60" will continue to be on the air because of its "anti-christian" themes. I don't think it is "anti-christian"....just "anti-funny".

According to the National Enquirer (ALLLWAYS trustworthy), one of Lindsay Lohan's inner-circle peeps has come forward saying the star is constantly mixing cocaine with oxycontin and vodka to stay up for days at a time...and then popping Ambien when it's time to crash. PFFFT please! I don't buy that shit for a second. She's totally a Lunesta girl.

People are worried about the message the movie "Blood Diamond" will send - fearing it will ruin the legitimate African diamond mining business. Frankly, I think people should be more concerned about the message "Charlotte's Web" will send. A whole new generation of kids is going to have to be freaked out that not only do spiders bite, but they also talk. And the bacon and sausage we love to eat really comes from a sweet, lovable talking pig. The pork and spider industries will never recover from this!

yo yo yo...you out there!

2006-12-07T02:13:00.000-08:00

Stef & Daph...do you not want a free DVD? If so, email me your choice(s) today sos I can mail them all by Friday. check the "caption this winner" post if you don't know what I'm talking about.

All in the family is gone....I know they aren't exactly top of the line...but come on...they're FREE! :)

A Letter to Britney from SPF

2006-12-07T01:40:00.000-08:00

Britney posted some shit on her website trying to be all cute and funny about her recent partying and lack of panties. Here's a screen cap from her website:Well, I happen to have a little time machine in my closet, so I went to the future, and was able to get a statement from MC SPF 420 (that's Sean Preston's rap name in the future). Here's what he wrote for me to tell his mom:

Dear Mom, if you're able to read this yet, I just want you 2 no that my life is kick azz and that you shunt fill 2 bad about how me and JJ turned out. Yeah, it wuz ruff hav'n 2 live wit pops yo and our 13 udder step bros and sisses at furst. But pops really helped us out wit our muzic talent and shit. I know you had to do your thing with all the drink'n 'n party'n. Pops said you wuz really a lezbo, and I'm down wit dat 'n shit. Then you ended up in da hospital for 2 years wit dat serious klamidia super strain or whatever it was called. The story in People was great tho...and no celebrity eva got so many damn panties sent to their hospital room b4. We wuz all real proud. N E waze, I no u ain't bin able 2 think rite since u died from alcohol poison'n and da docs brought u back from the dead...but I hopes u git beda soon. Lil' JJ only gots 2 more years of time to do after poppin' a cap in that ole bitch Lindsay Lohan's ass. That bitch had it comin' after she left dad and took all our dope with her.

Who The Hell Do You Have to Kill in Britain to Go to Jail?

2006-12-07T01:34:00.000-08:00

Will somebody PLEASE lock this fucker up? GEEZE? Seriously...why the fuck is Pete Doherty allowed out among innocent people when he has been arrested 17 gazillion times for drugs and openly admits being high 24/7??? In his latest scandal (if you can even keep up anymore), some British actor dude (Marc Blanco) fell 2 stories to his death after having an altercation with Pete at some party.

Now I'm not saying Pete pushed him...but he TOTALLY DID! Even if he didn't....he DID! I don't care man...you only get so many "get out of jail free cards". There comes a time when if it walks like a duck and smokes crack like a duck...then it should be a fucking locked-up for the next 20 years duck.

King of Queens Returns

2006-12-06T01:55:00.000-08:00

Hip hip Hooooray...the King of Queen returns to CBS tonight. Granted, it ain't the BEST sitcom out there....but I find it consistently funny. Plus there is just a lack of sitcoms in general (IMO) out there right now. This will probably be the last season for the King of Queens...so enjoy it while you can!

R.I.P MAX

2006-12-06T01:44:00.000-08:00

George Clooney recently lost his pet pig Max after a 18 year relationship together. George, if you're reading this...I send my condolences to you and I know Max is resting peacefully up in hog heaven. But I know there will be many nights to come where you'll be lonely late at night...and want something large and smelly to cuddle up to. And I'm telling you now, you're welcome over at my place ANYTIME you want. Many of my exes have told me I may as well live in a pig sty and that when I don't shower for a week at a time, they would PREFER to be sleeping next to a pot-bellied pig. I'm here for you in your time of need George. *wiiiiink*

The Break-Up

2006-12-06T01:31:00.000-08:00

Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn have finally confirmed their split. If you've been reading my blog for more than 2 days (oookay, more like a month) then you know that I've never believed they were really a couple to begin with. The whole relationship stunk of a PR stunt for their movie "The Break-Up" from the get go. I mean, I'm sure they really did enjoy each other's company and may have even had a romp or two between the sheets. After all, he's a horny dude and she was fresh from her divorce. But I think it was a pre-arranged thing the whole time.

Whatever though. As much as I like reporting on the gossipy stuff, I still think celebs have SOME right to privacy. I dunno...I'm probably easier on Aniston than I would be on some other actress who "lied" to the public about a relationship because I feel for what she went through with the whole Brad and Angelina thing. If anyone is gonna steal her husband from her, it should be ME, not Miss UN-Ambassador, child adopting, plump lips, plane flying, husband stealing, bisexual, perfect Angelina.

I do hope Aniston's next relationship is a REAL one and that she finds a great guy who won't ditch her. I still think she and Clooney would make a good pair. Or maybe Luke Wilson...

Caption This Winner

2006-12-05T01:16:00.000-08:00

Nicole Kidman laughs when she realizes standing next to two giant fake penguins is better than standing next to her ex-husband.

Congrats to Drakefn! Good try Steph and Daph...actually Daph, you were a little later than the deadline...so I had to be fair and not count yours. :(

BUT...I'm done giving out DVDs...they haven't seemed to boost the answers much....soooooooo....Drake will get first choice, then Steph, then Daph. But everyone gets a DVD! (if you want one of the crappy ones I have to offer!). Sorry I don't have anything better. :( All DVD

Email me your postal address and your choice (top 2 choices for Steph and top 3 for Daph) to gi_scarlet13@yahoo.com

Here are the choices: Season 2 of the Flying Nun, Season 5 of All in the Family, Bottoms Up, The Road to Guantanamo, Little Man, The Woods, The Siege at Ruby Ridge, Population 436, The Plague, Merry Christmas Everybody, and Connors' War.

By Jove...I've Got it!

2006-12-05T01:09:00.000-08:00

And I probably caught it from Paris Skankton...ewwwww....

But I think I know what's been going on with Brit Brit these past few weeks. She's got that same special power as that chick from Heroes -- you know, the one with 2 personalities. I always thought that was a severe mental disorder, not a superhero power...but whatev.

These pictures show Good Britney and Bad Britney. You can tell Bad Britney is just dying to flash us her cooch...but luckily that saintly man is stopping her. It's okay Brit...maybe Hiro Nakamura can transport to the past, save you, and save US from having to see your pantieless cooch.

Who's Your Daddy?

2006-12-05T00:41:00.000-08:00

Well...Eddie Murphy is pretty damn sure it ain't him! Not only has he split from Scary Spice, he's pretty sure he ain't her baby's daddy. He's telling reporters that he wants a paternity test. Ooooh dear! Is he claiming Scary Spice is really Slutty Spice? I think if the Spice Girls were to reunite, they'd all have different names.

L to R: Slutty Spice, Anorexic Ape Spice, Fucked up my Career Spice, Daddy Touches me There Spice, and Where the Fuck did I Go Spice.

Damn, I think Nick Nolte is Still the Winner

2006-12-05T00:38:00.000-08:00

of the ugliest mug shot ever...although Rip Torn is certainly giving him a run for his money.

But come on folks...are you really shocked??? His name is RIP Torn....as in rip roarin' drunk.

Breaking News

2006-12-04T02:29:00.000-08:00

This just in...Britney Spears apparently made it through an ENTIRE weekend without flashing her cooch! *whew* This is a major triumph for the soon-to-be-divorced singer. Even more surprising, she seemed to get her memory back and remember that she does in FACT have at least one child. Maybe by the end of the week she'll remember she has TWO kids and actually stay home and take care of them....shit, I know, I'm expecting way too much.

And just because I'm trying to be a LITTLE more positive...kudos to all the young starlets out there who are not constantly photographed 1) w/o panties, 2) being held up by Paris Hilton, or 3) with alcohol in their hands. People like Kirsten Drunkst, Michelle Trachtenberg, Scarlett Johansson (though she's too busy having sex with older men to go out partying), and ummm...I'm sure there's at least one or two more.

Prison Break Actor in Serious Car Wreck

2006-12-04T02:19:00.000-08:00

Actor Lane Garrison, 26, from the FOX show Prison Break was involved in a fatal car accident over the weekend. His SUV jumped the curb and hit a tree killing a 17 year-old boy and critically injuring 2 15 year-old girls. Authorities have not said yet who was driving or if alcohol/drugs were a factor. Of COURSE they were. A young actor on a semi-hit show hanging out with 3 under-aged people...come on...nothing good could come of that situation. I know...I'm probably jumping the gun here, but Hollywood is full of irresponsible rich assholes who think they are indestructible. Well, if alcohol and/or drugs were involved, I hope somebody gets what they deserve.

movie reviews

2006-12-04T01:58:00.000-08:00

Let's see...a few movies to catch you up on...

The Queen - a sloooooooow movie that looks at the reactions (and lack there of) of the Royal family and newly elected PM Tony Blair in the weeks after Princess Di's death. The acting is good and the subject matter is fresh/unique, but I felt like it dragged a bit too much. Maybe those of you with more patience than I will like it more.

The Holiday - cute, slightly long, typical romantic comedy. I didn't find anything fresh about this movie. Everyone looks great...especially Cameron Diaz and Jude Law. At first I was really relating to the "unrequited love" stuff...but by the end, we see that these characters make a ton of friends in the span of 2 weeks and fall in love, etc. Sheesh...I have a hard enough time making a few friends in 30 years, and these folks have close BFFs in less than 2 weeks. GRRRR That sort of improbable shit pisses me off. But, I was amused with a few of the cameos in the movie and Cameron's and Jack Black's careers. They basically have my dream job (in the movie). If you like romantic comedies, you'll probably like this one.

Candy - this is a small indie movie starring Heath Ledger and Abbie Cornish about a young couple addicted to heroin. I usually like drug movies, but I prefer them to romanticize drug use - call me old-fashioned! lol But this movie doesn't really show the appeal of the drugs or how they were seduced into using. Instead we just watch this couple go from one hard time to another and toying with the idea of getting clean. Overall a total dud.

Lance Bass tells Reichen "Bye Bye Bye"

2006-12-04T01:52:00.000-08:00

Well, the first (of sadly MANY) Perez-outed gay couples has reportedly called it quits. Reichen and Lance Bass have decided to end their relationship of over a year. That's cool...they're young...there's lots of buttholes out there for both of them. Sources close to the pair say that they had been fighting a lot lately. I wonder if this split will get as much attention as a hetero split. Guess we'll wait and see.

Caption This Contest

2006-12-01T02:51:00.000-08:00

Time to win another free DVD...

People who have won in the past 30 days are welcome to submit captions for fun, but are not eligible to win. Submit your captions by Monday at 5pm (pacific time). Good Luck! That's Nicole Kidman there in case it's not clear. And a special shout out to Poohbear for finally joining us! :)

Perez Gets What he Deserves

2006-12-01T02:21:00.000-08:00

Yay...PErez Hilton is being sued for over $7 million for copyright infringement of photos he uses on his blog. (I guess not having many readers has its advantages! whew!). I hope they take that annoying pig for every cent he's made in the past year...but more than likely, some settlement will be reached and we'll never know. Anyways...it does suck that so many pics get used without credit...I have no excuse other than being lazy. :( Hey...go ahead and sue me. I've got 2 cats and some clumps of rice and hair under the fridge you can have.

If Michael Richard's Rant was a Seinfeld Episode.

2006-12-01T02:15:00.000-08:00

Some clever editing here....kinda funny.

Also, I wish I could find a youtube video of this, but the only video I can find of it is on NBC...this is a funny Conan O'brien Thanksgiving day video. Click here and then click on "NYC Turkey Kill" under recent videos.

Old News

2006-12-01T01:54:00.000-08:00

Okay, I know this is sort of old news, but I never got around to posting about it, and oddly enough, it didn't get pointed out much in other media outlets...

But did anyone notice who DIDN'T attend the annoying TomKat wedding? I'm pretty sure John Travolta & Kelly Preston didn't make it...as well as Kirstie Alley and Steven Spielberg. Hmmm...Travolta was even supposedly going to fly several people to Italy for the nuptials.

I read somewhere that Travolta's absence may be tied to Oprah's snub since Travolta and the big O are supposedly mucho tight. And maybe Travolta threatened to not make a Look Whos Talking 4 with Alley if she went to the wedding...

I really HOPE Spielberg wasn't really there. I didn't read any mention of his presence or see any pics even though there was talk that he would attend. I would like to believe that Spielberg really does harbor resentment towards Cruise after the mockery he made of himself promoting War of the Worlds.

ANNNYWAYS...like I said, it's old news...but thanks to Kramer, focus was shifted off the TomKat wedding pretty quickly (and I DO thank you for that Michael Richards!).

Today's News

2006-11-29T23:43:00.000-08:00

Too lazy/tired for separate posts tonight...

Mel Gibson has reached out to Michael Richards and says he understands the comedian's troubles and feels bad for him. Awww...I guess racist birds of a feather flock together. Gibson probably just thought a total moronic asshole like Richards MUST be a Jew and thought he'd fix his own problem by showing compassion to one of "them".

Apparently the guy who inspired the "Kramer" character on Seinfeld (Kenny Kramer), spoke out the other day to make sure we the people KNOW that the REAL Kramer is NOT a racist. Talk about trying to get some publicity! Sheesh. How fucking stupid would someone have to be to believe that one dude's racial tirade had something to do with a character he portrayed on tv over 5 years ago?!? Get over yourself.

Another dude looking for some publicity is actor Ethan Embry. He was supposedly robbed outside his house the other night. Embry said in his statement to the cops that the two men recognized him as an actor and decided to rob him. Ummm yeah. suuuuuure they did buddy. Even if I ran into you on the set of a movie, I'd have no clue who you were and would assume you were a gaffer. So ummmm....nice try, but the Papa ain't buying your goods today.

Actor and hottie James Franco is afraid of doing press for Spiderman 3 because he's worried he might reveal too much about the plot. Apparently Kirsten Drunkst has already been reprimanded by studio execs for revealing too much about the plot. Well James...if you let ME interview you, I won't ask you anything about Spiderman. I'll just ask you to take your pants off and show me your groove thang. *wink*

According to People.com, Pamela Anderson wants amicable divorce. Pamela responded by saying, "amicable? who's that? I thought I was divorcing Kid". hahahaha...ooooh that's so bad it's good. ;)

Tsk Tsk Mr. Morgan

2006-11-29T00:17:00.000-08:00

Tracy Morgan was arrested yesterday and charged with a DUI for a 2nd time. Hey, if I was on that crappy-ass show "30 Rock" I'd be drinking myself into a stupor as well. But I'm sure while he was being questioned, Tracy explained that since he is Captain Morgan, it's all good. Got a little Cap'n in you? I once had a LITTLE Cap'n in me, but that's another story. A story about Cap'n Stoopid.

weeeeeeeeeeeee

2006-11-29T00:08:00.000-08:00

papa razzi is a little depressed....and on the drugs (on the lunesta), so I gots to keep this short. ON the totally rare chance I wake up early I'll post again in the am. But basically Snoop Dogg was arrested yet again tonight right after his appearance on the Tonight Show. Ruh Roh...did he use the currently banned "N" word or something? That would be cool if they started arresting folks for using "n" words. I bet when he was arrested he called the officer Sugar Dong and said "you anti-drug people are responsible for all the hate in the world...if everyone was high, the world would be so layed back and peaceful". But nooooooo you won't hear about THOSE tirades in the news tomorrow.

The Winner is............

2006-11-28T02:06:00.000-08:00

Did you bring extra batteries for the "baby"?

Ooookay...no favoritism here...I just thought this was the best caption (the others were a little too truthful!) :) And to whoever "anonymous" is, if you don't post your name, I can't pick you as the winner. Congrats Squata...but remember, you won't be elligible to win again for 30 days.

You may choose your prize from one of the following DVDs: Little Man (come onnnn you know you want it!), The DaVinci Code, Connor's War, The Road to Guantanamo, Bottom's Up, The Flying Nun (Season 2), or All in the Family (Season 5).

Kibbles 'N Bits

2006-11-28T01:52:00.000-08:00

Hilary Swank is being given an Emery Award (which honors support for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered youths between the ages of 12 and 21) for her role as a transgender teen in Boys Don't Cry. *scratching head* Talk about a fucking delayed reaction. In related news, Jodie Foster will be receiving the Rapeisbad award for her work in The Accused after voters finally agreed that rape is bad.

Speaking of Jodie Foster...long rumored to be a closeted lesbian...everyone's favorite closet-outter has posted this pic and others of Jodie and her "lover" Cidney Bernard. They actually kinda look like sisters. And I suppose this woman COULD be her nanny or friend...but I tend to believe the gay rumors...so I'm thinking these two clean each other's carpets frequently. But I don't care Jodie...you're still the best actress hands down. ;)

I freakin' love Heroes...but damn them for making Superman the bad guy. Sylar...you better WATCH out...ha ha ha....(an inside joke for Heroes watchers...............hey, I didn't say it was a FUNNY joke).

Panties for Poverty

2006-11-28T01:16:00.000-08:00

World News Incorporated has just released a press statement that a new charity fund has been started called "Panties for Poverty". The goal of this charity is to raise money for poor chiluns everywhere from here in the states, to Africa, to Cambodia, and yes, even Iceland. Some of you may have been wondering why so many pantiless celebrity crotches have been popping up -- well this is the answer.

Generous celebs like Firecrotch Lohan, Paris Hilton, Mischa Barton, and now even Britney Spears are doing away with their panties until 10 billion dollars is raised to fund the impoverished children. Unfortunately, the only male celebrity to partake thus far is Steve O. And I don't think he'll raise much money by bearing all. So reach deep into your pockets (not for too long though) and give to this charity so that these sad freezing crotches can be covered once again.

Two More Bite the Dust

2006-11-28T01:03:00.000-08:00

Hello? Am I alive? Are you there God? It's me, Papa Razzi.

Hmmm....I must still be alive...God's not answering and it's too cold in this chair to be hell. Well, there goes my theory that the world would end if SugarTits Anderson and Kid Rock didn't make it as a couple. Yep, the greasy twosome have called it quits after exhausting all possibilities to salvage their 3 (?) month marriage.

And Hilary Duff must be taking her life cues from Anderson, because she too announced a split from boyfriend Joel Madden after 2-ish years together (sorry, I'm not up on my Duffology at the moment).

Oh deary me deary my...if Pamela Anderson and Hilary Duff can't make relationships work...what hope is there for me???? Oh that's right, I actually have a brain and ummm....well, that's about it I guess. Hopefully I'll find a guy who doesn't care about personality, looks, sense of humor, or money...cuz I can't offer any of that!

Down...but not Out

2006-11-25T15:39:00.000-08:00

Bad news...sorta. I'll probably be w/o a computer again for a day or two. My old computer has been fixed and should be back by Monday night...soooooo...I think I"ll be returning my loaner today.

I'll leave you with this humorous joke during Leno's monologue last night. With regard to the news that Michael Richards will be apologizing to Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, Leno asked..."who do people apologize to when white people are insulted? Who is the head white guy...I mean, would they apologize to Ron Howard? Opie is our leader..."

Okay...it's not an exact quote...but u get the gist.

Well, enjoy the rest of your weekend...and I'll be back soon, hopefully with some exciting gossip! :)

CAPTION THIS

2006-11-24T02:18:00.000-08:00

Submit your captions for this photo to receive a brand new DVD. The winner will be able to choose from a list of DVDs - one of which was a top grossing movie earlier this year. Anyone is eligible to win, but you can only win the Caption This Contest once per month. After a winner is chosen, you can pick which DVD you want and it will be mailed to you at absolutely no cost to you. They can make a good Xmas present too!

Captions must be submitted by Monday 11/27/06 at 8pm (Pacific Coast Time).

Vote!

2006-11-24T01:54:00.000-08:00

Titos Tacos

2006-11-24T01:34:00.000-08:00

Titos Tacos is an extremely popular taco stand down here in the LA area. I don't really care for the food (of course, I'm not big into mexican food period), but the commercial is freakin' catchy and I can't get it out of my head.

Blah Blah Blah

2006-11-23T00:08:00.000-08:00

Kelly Ripa is a hypocrite - she once covered Regis' mouth w/her hand...the same thing she's pissed at Clay Aiken for doing to her and saying how disrespectful he is and that she would never do that. Maybe Regis just doesn't count...you know, the dude that's responsible for me even knowing her name.

Lindsay Lohan goes on and on in a statement regarding the death of director Robert Altman - girl...lay off the crack and give it up, you're still a nobody in terms of the actresses who have worked for Altman.

I fucking hate Jay Leno...the only segment he has that I truly enjoy is when wild animals come on, but the animal experts are ALWAYS rushed and try explaining interesting facts, and Jay rushes them off and does a lot of "uh huh", "gotcha", even though you can tell he's not listening. I keep hoping one day one of the animals will maul him so Conan can take over early! ;)

Michael Richards has hired a new publicist and has apologized to Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. Shit, I had no idea those were the two dudes heckling him at the comedy club. The day after Thanksgiving is referred to as "black Friday", although in Michael Richards' house it has a different name. *ba dump dump*

Gobble Gobble Gobble

2006-11-22T23:55:00.000-08:00

Happpppy Thanksgiving my homies.

I hope you all have a great day of stuffing yourselves with turkey (or tofurkey for you weirdos), telling your Aunt Wanda to lay off the pills and alcohol, confronting your parents with why they never gave you enough love, and then passing out into a deeeeep turkoma. That's how my Thanksgivings usually go anyways.

I shall attempt to keep the blog going over the holiday, but frankly, there's nothing too exciting going on right now...

Kramers' Apology

2006-11-21T01:41:00.000-08:00

Michael Richards appeared live on the Late Show with David Letterman to explain his racial tirade and offer an apology. This is a very awkward exchange between Richards and Letterman. It probably didn't help that Jerry Seinfeld (already scheduled to appear on Letterman before all this) urged Richards to use the show to offer an apology at the last minute. Richards was undoubtedly nervous and hesitant to rush into an apology or to use a comedic show to do so.

Richards seems very uncomfortable with the setup. I actually felt bad for him at the beginning because the audience started laughing during his awkward pauses. You can even hear Seinfeld telling them "don't laugh, it's not funny". Well, it's hard to tell if he is truly sorry or not. Only time will tell.

Click here to see video

Maybe I'm in the minority here...but come on, we've all lost our tempers from time to time...right? Haven't you ever been so mad at someone that you say stuff you totally don't mean, just to be hurtful? Well, I have. I'm ashamed of those times when I have lashed out at people, but it comes from a very sad place and is just some people's defense mechanism. I don't know Richards (nor do I care to)...but I don't think it's fair to judge a person based on one moment where they were caught saying horrible things. If we were all judged by our worst moment ever, none of us would have any friends. It's one thing if someone is in a rational state and goes around repeatedly making racist statements....but when someone is clearly behaving irrationally, we can't make a blanket statement about them being "racist". Maybe he is...but I don't think this one incident is proof of that.

Britney's Bad Influences

2006-11-21T01:12:00.000-08:00

Britney spent the weekend in Vegas partying with wild peeps like Paris Hilton and Mario Lopez. Uh oh...I wonder if Mario's dance partner Karina VodkaSmirnoff knows about this...I wouldn't want to piss her off.

Britney was seen smoking and sitting next to Paris with her pants off. Maybe she was filming an episode of that silly kid's show "Pants Off Dance Off". I dunno. As happy as I am that Britney left K-Fed, I'm not sure that Mario Lopez and Paris Hilton are steps UP.

Tidbits

2006-11-21T00:44:00.000-08:00

First she lands hunky Jake Gyllenhaal...now she and Orlando Bloom appear to be an official couple. Why do all of my boyfriends keep dating this talentless hack with no fashion sense!? If that's what they want...they could have me!!!! Oh yeah, I'm not a cute, perky, petite blonde. :( A British paper is claiming that Dunst and Bloom were seen kissing and cuddling at the Chateau Marmont this past week.

Josh Holloway who plays Sawyer on Lost is being considered for the role of Gambit in the next X-Men movie. The next installment of the X-men movies will not have some of the big regulars like Hugh Jackman and Halle Berry, so producers think introducing another major x-man such as Gambit would be perfect. Apparently Gambit's power is the ability to charge objects with energy, causing them to explode. In that case, Holloway is perfect, because every week on Lost he causes my heart to pound and my hoo hoo to explode with multiple orgasms.....oops TMI.

FOX Digs Deep and Finds Some Morals

2006-11-21T00:25:00.000-08:00

Kudos to News Corp. and FOX for cancelling their planned OJ Simpson interview and book about how he WOULD have killed Ron and Nicole, IF he had done it. FOX had received a ton of criticism after agreeing to air the special and some affiliates had already pledged not to air the special. But Rupert Murdoch, head of News Corp. said in a statement, "I and senior management agree with the American public that this was an ill-considered project. We are sorry for any pain that this has caused the families of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson". It's nice to know that sweeps month doesn't always mean selling your soul to satan...although I'm sure if advertisers weren't wary of the backlash, the special would still have been aired.

Now OJ will just have tell us how he would have done the interview...if he had done it...

ET - GO HOME

2006-11-20T19:52:00.000-08:00

Well, I learned my lesson...no more Entertainment Tonight for me this week. I like to watch the show to keep up to date on the goings on of Hollywood, and tonight I was particularly interested in the Michael Richards coverage...unfortunately, the majority of the show was dedicated to TomKat's wedding and not just in an objective way, but in a "we're soooo fucking honored to be here covering this super ultra glorious event" way.

GET OVER IT. It's a freakin' wedding. Gawd...Jann Carl apparently thought she was at the Oscars since she was asking all the guests "who they were wearing". Lady, if I don't give a shit who Meryl Streep is wearing at the Oscars, I sure as fuck don't give a shit who Jada Pinkett Smith is wearing to a stupid fake wedding. The Insider was even worse with a minute-by-minute (no exaggeration) account of the wedding day...."at 3:17pm, Katie was seen taking a dump in the vintage toilet".

I would like to think the coverage was a one-day only event...but I'm sure they'll find a way to drag the coverage out...the same way Tom and Katie dragged out their wedding kiss (it was reportedly 3 minutes long and guests were 'playfully' shouting for them to stop). That's disgusting...who has a freakin' 3 minute kiss in front of everyone? Oooh that's right...the dude who REALLY wants people to know he's not gay and truly in love with Katie.

ET reported that Andrea Bocelli sang Ave Maria at the ceremony...I guess he was the only singer who could tolerate the sight of the two enough to not vomit during his song.

Kramer's Seinfeld Curses

2006-11-20T08:21:00.000-08:00

IF you haven't heard about it by now, Michael Richards (aka Kramer from Seinfeld) was at the Laugh Factory this weekend doing stand-up when he went off on a black audience member referring to him repeatedly as the "n" word. TMZ has a very blurry video of the incident here. As of a few minutes ago though, their poll asking if Richards is racist or not was 60% yes and 40% no out of over 20,000 votes.

This may offend some of you...and sorry if it does...but you're welcome to offer you're opinion as well....

But basically, I felt that more is being made over his tirade than should be. It's hard to make too many judgments based on the poor video that was obviously edited...yeah, Richards definitely seems pissed, but I actually felt like his first few comments were just part of his not-so-funny comedy shtick. He's far from the first comic to use racial slurs. I just think that he got frustrated by a heckler and took it too far. And you can still hear a lot of audience members laughing during most of this. I'm not exactly condoning his words...I just think the media is going to jump on this and make more of it than it warrants.

It's Official...Satan has Katie's Soul

2006-11-19T00:23:00.000-08:00

Katie has officially sold her soul to the devil. Tom and Katie wed earlier today in Italy in front of 500 of their closest friends, family, and anyone else who paid enought to attend. And the pair wasted no time in getting their pics to People magazine. Because love and a wedding ceremony is a really intimate and personal thing, right?

This photo screams "Flowers in the Attic" to me:

Katie is obviously pleading for help here to the paparazzi...

Damn you Cruise...you may have won the battle, but you will not win the war! P.S. He must have some major lifts in his shoes for them to be the same height! Or maybe he had part of her femurs removed.

Brooke and J-Lo obviously didn't get the message about not upstaging the bride. Well good for them. And what the fuck is Posh wearing!? The lack of food in her has left her brain the size of a pea...she must think she's at a fashion show. But at least she got the color right for THIS wedding.

Lindsay Lohan - Cutter

2006-11-18T23:50:00.000-08:00

Aha! I think we finally have proof of my earlier theory that Lindsay's wrist bandage was really there to cover up her suicide attempt or cutting marks. Lindsay supposedly broke her wrist shortly after having a huge argument with her mother in public. I always thought the story sounded fishy and for awhile, Lindsay had both wrists bandaged. That's when I suspected that maybe she's really a cutter. She seems like the type of girl who is really emotional and filled with drama and who would threaten suicide just to get to her mom or boyfriends.

Now this pic shows some cuts and scars on Lindsay's wrist. I've never broken my wrist, but I don't THINK it would have those types of marks on it just from breaking it.

In all seriousness, if Lindsay is a cutter or whatever, I hope she gets some help....and maybe while she's getting help for that, she can get help for her other serious illness - crotchflashingitis.

Date Night

2006-11-18T23:43:00.000-08:00

Madonna and Guy take a page from Tom Cruise's parenting book, and head out for a date night without the toddlers. What, she's had her new son David for a whole 2 weeks now, and already she can't wait to get out of the house w/o him. She has also told a London paper that she plans to adopt a Malawian girl soon...hmmm...I wonder whose kid she'll steal this time!?

Movie Reviews

2006-11-18T23:20:00.000-08:00

This weekend brings me 3 new movie reviews: Lets Go to Prison, Fast Food Nation, and For Your Consideration.

Let's Go to Prison is a really dumb/silly comedy, but I was definitely in the mood for a silly comedy after a long week at work, so I was mildly amused by the flick. It helps that I'm a big Will Arnett fan, and am quickly becoming a Dax Shepard fan. Basically the movie is about these 2 men in prison...one of the men (Shepard) is a career criminal and actually framed Arnett's character as a form of payback. Shepard then attempts to make sure Arnett get's the worst treatment possible in prison. Hey, how often can you say stabbings and anal rapings are funny. Not too often. Still...this is not witty or sophisticated in the very least.

Fast Food Nation is an extremely unfocused movie. It tries to accomplish too much, with too many characters for one movie. I was *mostly* interested in the subplots, and the main plot about the nasties in our processed beef, but it did drag at times. There are a ton of cameos, but the only performance that really stood out to me was by newcomer Catalina Sandino Moreno. I do not recommend paying to see this movie in the theater...and if you DO watch it, don't plan on eating directly afterwards. Or before either...sooo, I guess don't plan on eating most of the day. It does graphically show the slaughtering of cows which is sad and hard to watch...but eating meat is a part of our world and has been for centuries (millenia even).

For Your Consideration is a delightful comedy from the minds of Christopher Guest and Eugene Levy. Guest is famous for his mockumentaries such as Best in Show and Waiting for Guffman. For Your Consideration is NOT one of his typical mockumentaries, but it is a satirical look at the Hollywood film industry. I think Guest used all his "regular" actor friends plus a dozen more because it seemed a bit too full of characters. I don't put it on the same level as Best in Show or Guffman, but it's still a fun romp, especially if you're a fan of his Guest's other films.

Who the Fuck Are These People!?

2006-11-18T23:07:00.000-08:00

Earlier this week, the Sony Playstation 3 (PS3) fiiiiiiiiinally went on sale after several delays and much anticipation. Gamers lined up days ahead of time to get their hands on a $600 PS3 which is being sold in very limited quantities until next year.

Tomorrow, Sony's biggest competitor, Nintendo, is releasing its newest console, the Wii (pronounced "weeeeeeeeeeee") and once again, gamers are lined up days in advance, around the block just to be one of the first people to own a Wii. The Wii is a mere $250 though....much more affordable to those incomeless children/teens.

So, what the hell is wrong with people that 1) they have the time to spend waiting in lines, 2) they can afford these ridiculously priced consoles/games, 3) they are willing to incite violence over these things, and 4) some of them just plan to sell the consoles on Ebay for a ridiculous amount (one just sold for 9 fucking thousand dollars).

Hey gamers...GET A LIFE and go enjoy the outdoors...or at least do something productive like blog! :)

Long Live the 80s!

2006-11-18T22:47:00.000-08:00

VH1 is airing a special called "The Top 100 Songs of the 80s" where YOU (the people) supposedly voted for your favorite 80s songs. Well the people fucking suck so far. They just put A-Ha's "Take on Me" at #24. Anyone with half a brain knows that "Take on Me" is one of the best...if not THE best 80s song. Grrrr....

It's really hard to narrow down all the great 80s songs to my favorites. With artists like Michael Jackson, Madonna, Prince, Whitney, Duran Duran, The Go-Gos, The Bangles, Cyndi Lauper, Wham and MORE...how DOES someone narrow them down?!

Soooo...what are YOUR top 5 or 10 80s songs? Here's my list (but I'll still pretend like YOUR list matters):

10. Material Girl - Madonna
9. What Have I Done to Deserve This - Pet Shop Boys
8. Everything She Wants - Wham
7. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper
6. Dancing in the Dark - Bruce Springsteen
5. Strangelove - Depeche Mode
4. When Doves Cry - Prince
3. Hungry Like the Wolf - Duran Duran
2. Take On Me - A-Ha
1. Beat It - Michael Jackson

Happy Friday Readers!!!

2006-11-17T01:31:00.000-08:00

F ine

R ugged

I ntense

D ashing

A rrogant

Y ummy

who cares!

2006-11-17T01:24:00.000-08:00

Teri Hatcher is reportedly dating one of Eva Longoria's exes - Ste;phen Kay...woooo way to make more friends Teri! Supppposedly this is causing more friction on the set of Desperate Housewives...but I don't really think so. The guy is basically a nobody and Eva must have dated him awhile ago, because she's been with Tony Parker for quite sometime...and before then it was JC Chasez. Whatever...as long as Teri stays away from George Clooney & Ryan Seacrest, I don't care what her cooter is filled with.

Thursday TV

2006-11-17T00:35:00.000-08:00

Yay...gay jazz-hands Justin was back on Ugly Betty. He is the only reason I even watch that silly show. But he was just as gay as always talking about his fabulous school pageant, decorating the table, and squealing like a little girl when he was given a football "costume" by his dad. You rock little gay justin...

Over on Survivor, some contestants were either about to be cooked or worshipped by local natives who were chanting and dancing. One poor fella was sandwiched in between two "heavy" natives who I think were trying to squeeze his ju ju out.

Over on Grey's...McGay told McBitchy to stop being a robot and be more human...even though, the robot side of her is what will keep his dad alive....ooooh more deepness from that whack show.

AND HELL NO...ABC better not be cancelling 6 Degrees already! Granted, it ain't exactly rivetting...but I wuv Campbell Scott and it has one of the best casts of any tv show. But it hasn't been on for a few weeks and apparently ABC is putting Men in Trees in it's place soon. Don't make me kick your ass ABC! I don't want to live in a world where Anne Heche trumps Campbell Scott!

Finally, on Barbara Walter's special, I learned that Sean Connery is a woman beater and that Richard Gere thinks the biggest misconception about him is that he's "brooding". Uhhh hello Richard??? Maybe that would've been an opportune time to clear up the gerbil in the butt thing.

Weekend Plans

2006-11-17T00:02:00.000-08:00

Reasons I'm Glad I'm Not Going to the TomKat Wedding...

I can file the callouses off my feet finally!
I can watch the weekend entertainment shows go on and on about Emmit Smith winning and why Britney really left Kevin.
I can watch the new DaVinci Code DVD bonus features and check out all the hidden codes that I apparently missed in the theater since I was trying to pay attention to the fucking plot...silly me.
I won't have to worry about being abducted by scientologists and whisked off in a spaceship and brainwashed.
Me and Oprah can FINALLY do that "girls night out" we've been planning for eons.
I can catch "8 films to Die For" -- scary movies that are "too scary and graphic" for a regular theater release. Ha...take that TomKat! You'll miss out on the 8 films to die for! :P

Tid Bits

2006-11-16T00:52:00.000-08:00

Michael Flatley, the self proclaimed Lord of the Dance is reportedly "seriously ill" in a London hospital with a mystery illness. Hmmm...perhaps he should have chosen to be a Lord of Medicine or Health instead of Dance. Me thinks the "mystery illness" is really God being pissed by Flatley worshipping himself. Good luck with that one...

Why the fuck is J-Lo going to TomKat's wedding?! I didn't even know the fictional couple was acquainted with J-Lo, but she is apparently planning to attend the nuptials. Teddy C from E online hints that J-Lo and Marc are actually rather chummy with scientologist Leah Remini and that *perhaps* J-Lo is a secret scientologist...or planning to become one. I say NO WAY. Latinos are historically very devoted Catholics...then again, so was Holmes. Maybe J-Lo just wants to attend someone else's wedding for once, instead another one of her own.

People Magazine has named George Clooney as the Sexiest Man Alive this year. Like, DUH! They should just name him sexiest man alive for the next 10 years.

Emmitt Smith wins the cheap piece of shit trophy on Dancing With the Stars and actually seems happy about it. On the other hand, Mario Lopez's partner, Karina VodkaSmirnoff (or something like that) looked pissed. I think she's going to rip Mario's testicles off and feed them to Emmitt after the show. I like the show, but Mario DEFINITELY had some dancing experience. They need to make sure they get stars who can't dance worth shit to keep it good.

CAPTION THIS WINNER

2006-11-16T00:42:00.000-08:00

Well, thank you to everyone who submitted captions. I appreciate your efforts with a not-so-inspiring photo. Hey...finding photos are hard...if you ever find one you think I should use, email it to me at gi_scarlet13@yahoo.com

Anyways...it was a TOUGH decision...but the winner is.......... Chris MacDonald with:

"Strawbeary ice cream, get your strawbeary ice cream!"

Caption This Contest

2006-11-15T02:36:00.000-08:00

Last day to submit a caption! Odds are great that you'll win a DVD!
******************************************************************************
Okay...this is a totally legit offer...no strings attached. If you want to win a brand new copy, still shrink-wrapped, DVD of Monster House, please e-mail your captions to: gi_scarlet13@yahoo.com. Be sure to put "caption this" in the subject heading. I guarantee that I will only use the information provided to send the winner his/her DVD. I will not publish or sell anyone's email. I will post everyone's captions as I receive them. This Caption This contest closes on Wednesday 11/15/2006 at 8pm PCT. I will email the winner on Thursday to get your name and postal address so I can send you your DVD.

And...even if YOU don't particularly want a Monster House DVD, it will make a nice X-mas present for any kids you may know.

sick sick sick

2006-11-15T02:24:00.000-08:00

Fox plans to air an interview with OJ Simpson where he discusses Nicole's murder and how he WOULD have done if he HAD. There are truly no morals left in Hollywood. I'm sure he's getting paid for this directly or indirectly...and isn't that the same as profitting off of someone's murder? Not much offends me...but this definitely does. No wonder I don't watch Fox...much.

Benji Returns!!!

2006-11-15T01:59:00.000-08:00

Remember that movie, the Return of Benji??? Well, Benji HAS returned...to Days of Our Lives. Fans from the "old days" remember that Patch and Kayla adopted an adorable deaf boy for a year or so (until his real dad was found or something like that) named Benji. So now that Kayla is dying and Patch still can't remember shit, Benji shows up at the hospital and signs some stuff and then takes off! I hope it wasn't just a one-time appearance...you can't bring back a major character for just one freakin' episode.

So now that I'm on a Days rant...what the HELL is going on with the writing over there? I seriously feel like one week someone with brains is writing, and the next week, a sea slug has taken over. Let's see...Patch remembers Stephanie and Benji, but still not Kayla!? Give me a break...and Stephanie is usually missing from the family mob as they all fret over Kayla, even though Stephanie is just a few doors down in her own hospital room. LAME.

And don't even get me started on how majorly they fucked up my lover EJ Wells...His character is making NO sense these days. He would have been a genuine and GREAT friend/love interest for Sami...but nooooooooo...we have to go BACK to the whole Lucas thing...

And my tummy sorta churns whenever I see John and Marlena together anymore. They used to be my fave...and I still love John, separately...and I like Marlena...but together, I just want to gag. And John always looks like he's going to swallow her face when he kisses her.

Finally....I can't believe Carrie is gone again. Booooo...she's one of my faves and was only around for a year or less. Get rid of Abby and bring back Carrie!

Gay Feet

2006-11-15T01:47:00.000-08:00

I think I found Toothy Tile and his lover. Talk about an ODD couple...here is Elijah Wood and Robin Williams promoting their stupid looking new movie, Happy Feet. WTF is the deal with penguins lately?

Whatever Happened to...

2006-11-15T01:34:00.000-08:00

Natalie Merchant? Did those 10,000 maniacs finally get her???

She's one of my favorite singers, but I haven't heard anything from her in awhile...anyone know where she's gone???

It's the Ladies' Turn!

2006-11-15T01:19:00.000-08:00

Carpet Munchers Unite!! After all the gays rushing out of the closet, it's finally time for another lesbian to come out. And it's always nice to see hot lesbians, not the Rosie O'Donnell type. Michelle Rodriguez has long been rumored to be a lez, but has never publicly confirmed it. Now, in a recent interview from The Advocate, Michelle's reported girlfriend Kristanna Loken more or less confirms that she and Michelle are a couple.

Actually, I don't really get the interview...what's the stuff about looking upstairs? But those more familiar with gayness and outing people are saying this is confirmation...so I'll trust them.

Oookay, enough with all the closet-opening. Lance Bass did it back when it was cool and hip...now it seems like everyone is just jumping on the "I'm Gay" train. Next thing you know Nathan Lane and Barry Manilow will claim THEY'RE gay...pfft!

Obscure Stalking

2006-11-15T01:06:00.000-08:00

Chris Cornell has a stalker??? Geeze...these stalking nutsos must be really hard up for victims if they're resorting to someone as obscure as Chris Cornell.

Hey...I was a Soundgarden fan...and I like Audioslave and even one of his solo songs. But your average person probably has no clue who Chris is. This is good news for me though...I'm a just a few ladder rungs below Chris Cornell...so, maybe I'll have a stalker soon (crossing fingers).

Not sure why this freak is threatening Chris' wife and kids...if it was for making a crappy theme song for the latest Bond movie, that'd be understandable...but the article doesn't really say.

Federline's new Commercial

2006-11-14T00:25:00.000-08:00

Wooing America's most popular pop princess with cheetos and beer: $40

Buying a wedding ring: $30,000 (mostly on loan from her)

Promoting your horrible CD and being dumped via text message: your dignity

Having possession of your 4 hour sex tape with slutty/drunk princess: priceless

Casino Royale - Early Review

2006-11-14T00:14:00.000-08:00

Don't worry...no spoilers...just a brief review.

I really liked the new James Bond movie - Casino Royale. Admittedly, I'm not a hardcore, die-hard Bond fan...but I have enjoyed the Pierce Brosnan flicks and a Roger Moore one or two. This Bond movie is based on the first Ian Fleming Bond novel and begins as Bond is just becoming a double-0 agent.

Anyways, this has one really great action scene, some romance, and some poker. Does Daniel Craig make a good James Bond? Well, I definitely think so in THIS movie...he's not as smooth/suave as I"m used to seeing James Bond...but since this is supposed to be Bond's first mission, I think Craig's rough-around-the-edges style works. Not sure if he will hold up in subsequent movies though, but I'm willing to give him a chance.

If you like James Bond or action movies, don't miss this one!

And P.S. The best part of this movie is that it does not involve dancing penguins or other animated animals reaking havoc.

TV Stuff

2006-11-14T00:00:00.000-08:00

Hmmm...must say I was a bit disappointed with tonight's Heroes. It's still the best new 1-hour show on tv right now, but tonight's episode was a snoozefest. Indian (dot not feather) guy went back to India, dumped his dad out in the water, saw some ghosts, and will probably head back to America. What a waste of an episode....and the good/bad guys got Isaac off of the heroin just to juice him back up. WTF! AND...as if that wasn't enough of a waste, Chinese dude is going back in time to save memory chick. I wish I could turn back the clock and get that one hour back.

On the other hand, I'm still really liking Desperate Housewives this week...Julie is finally getting some. And it was great to see Susan's ex back again. That was a classic scene with him where he went from being bad cop with Julie to bad cop with Susan. I'm a bit tired of Plumber Mike walking around in a daze...and the last scene in the new neighbor's basement gave me the willies! EEEGADS! But it can't be what it seems like. It HAS to be something else. That's just too dark to be on such a *light-hearted* show.

GAAAAAH...I don't know how I"m going to make it 13 weeks w/o Lost. But the good news is that Medium will be on Wednesday nights now. I can't wait to see her kids eat more cereal while her husband takes them to and from school since she is out solving mysteries with stud-cop.

Not so Shocking

2006-11-13T01:47:00.000-08:00

So on-again off-again couple Jude Law and Sienna Miller broke up yesterday. Ummm....yeah....can't say I really care or that I'm surprised. He probably missed boinking the nanny, and she missed being a whore. These two will probably hook up again at some point. She probably saw those recent hideous pics of Jude and realized that without her drunk goggles on, he ain't all that.

Anna Nicole = Lying Freak

2006-11-13T01:33:00.000-08:00

Okay, I know this news is a few days old, but since I've been computerless...well, I just really wanted to get some of this off my chest.

EEEGADS...was anyone else unfortunate enough to catch all that annoying Anna Nicole shit on Entertainment Tonight last week? First off, I hated all the dramatic promos. You know, I think ET only has about 15 minutes of actual story...then there's 8 minutes of commercials, and 7 minutes of promo-ing what will be on after the next commercial...

"coming up, my EXCLUSIVE, EMOTIONAL, RAW interview with Anna Nicole. She talks about everything...the birth of danielyn, the death of her son daniel, her love of Howard K. Stern, the baby's paternity, why the sky is blue, how she really vomitted herself skinny instead of taking trimspa, what she thinks of my tie, why she prefers to drink mai-tais, how to marry a really rich old dude..." blah blah blah. SHUT UP!

But of course I watched...and my god was that a ridiculous interview. Why didn't Mark Steines ask the obvious question of how she could possibly get "married" or celebrate her union with Stern just days after her son died!?

And I have no doubt that her tears and incoherency over Daniel's death were real, but the whole time I was thinking "I bet she didn't shed ONE tear for her late husband, mr. Moneybags".

And the footage of the actual BIRTH of her daughter was 1) gross, 2)unnecessary and 3) evidence of her being on some pretty heavy drugs.

Man she is one major manipulator.

Wind it Up

2006-11-13T01:25:00.000-08:00

Okay...I loves me the Gwen Stefani, but so far, I'm not a big fan of her new song or video - Wind it Up. I don't really get it. I know Gwen is capable of much better...I think she rushed into this after having her little baby. Hopefully the rest of the album is better. But maybe this song will grow on me at some point. Some of her songs do that.

However, I must say that I'm glad popstars are FINALLY sampling from musicals...it's about damn time! I can't wait for Eminem's next song to sample something from "Oklahoma!". I think the refrain "lazy circles in the sky" would be great in a rap song.

Check out Gwen's video for yourself...

OOOOOOOH WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

2006-11-13T01:06:00.000-08:00

A special happy birthday wish to super freakin' hot Ryan Gosling.

Ryan is hot in the usual way, but he's super ultra hot because he's talented, he doesn't seem to be in to the whole "celebrity" thing, he takes on unique roles in usually smaller films, even though he probably gets scripts for bigger-budget movies.

So happy birthday Gosling...and you and Rachel make a great couple, so don't fuck it up...unless it's to have a lust-filled afair with me. *wink*

Towels? Are you Fucking Kidding Me?

2006-11-13T00:50:00.000-08:00

One of the richest dudes in celebrity world - Tom Cruise - has generously had several sets of towels, with his and Katie's initials monogrammed on them, prepared as gifts for their wedding guests.

Umm...towels?! Give me a freakin' break! I mean, i totally get it...this wedding feels dirtier than the $2 whore who gave me panty roaches last week, but I'm sure Tom could have at least splurged on some golden statues of Xenu or something!

Fellow freakatologist John Travolta is reportedly going to be flying several guests in on his 747 jumbo jet. How surreal is that? Let's see...a whole plane full of scientologists and bad actors!? Wow...I'm smelling a golden opportunity to rid us of some mucho-annoying peeps. It suuuuure would be sad if that plane crashed into Tom's hotel. Ahhhh....I'm just joking...plane crashes are never funny.

Breaking Up Ain't So Hard to Do

2006-11-12T21:50:00.000-08:00

This year has seen a multitude of celebrity break-ups including Paul & Heather, Britney & K-Fed, Reese & Ryan, Dave & Carmen, Kate Hudson & Chris Robinson....so, who's next? Note: Aniston & Vaughn are not included in the answers because we all know they aren't REALLY a couple anyways...

I miss you all!

2006-11-11T13:05:00.000-08:00

Sup bitches?! AGGGHHH...computer still down. Using a friend's right now. I may have to break down and buy a new one today. Speaking of which...y are computers still so damn expensive? They've been around for awhile...shouldn't they be like $100 by now?

So, if I get a new computer soon, I'll be back and giving more detailed entries...

But for now...let me just say -

R.I.P. Jack Palance, Gerald Levert, and Ed Bradley. Although, I must point out that Palance has/had a ranch in Tehachapi, CA (my hometown) and people saw him around town a lot and said he was a total dick. I can't say that based on first-hand knowledge...but...I'm pretty confident he's up in heaven giving God a hard time.

Ugh...I hate not having more time to blog...I'll go buy that damn computer...but maybe ya'll could click on some of those ads to the right and help fund my new computer! :) See ya soon!

Computer Down

2006-11-08T09:51:00.000-08:00

Hey ya'll...quick note...sorry, my computer at home took a dump. Not sure when I'll be able to get it back up. :( Totally sux!!!! And I'm still not comfortable posting from work (except this lil diddy here).

Hang tight and I'll try to return asap!

P.S. I'm already sick of hearing about Britney and K-Fed...yeah yeah...it's good news, but certain bloggers are blogging about it waaaaaaaaaay too much!

bye bye bye

2006-11-07T13:37:00.000-08:00

Finally, Britney has made a SMART move by filing for divorce form K-Fed. Damnnn...it's a BAD week to be K-Fed...first most of his shows get cancelled due to low ticket sales, he gets boo'ed at his last live performance, now Britney has finally had enough of his ass too!

I'm guessing Britney saw how good divorce looked on Whitney Houston and jumped on the dump your leech bandwagon.

Well, good job Britney...but sorry...I am NOT one of those eagerly awaiting your "comeback". I just want you to be a good mommy and less of the pre-mommy slut that you were. Your music ain't bad...just please don't go around doing more stunt-kisses or wearing clothes that barely fit.

Brad in a Dress

2006-11-07T01:26:00.000-08:00

Hmmm...I always knew Angelina wore the pants in that family!

New Diet

2006-11-07T01:18:00.000-08:00

Kirstie Alley has actually inspired me to lose weight and shown me a great new way to do it! No, I'm not talking about Jenny Craig...I'm talking about the Bikini Hurl diet. Just watching her walk around on Oprah in her bikini made me hurl up breakfast AND lunch. Maybe next week she can walk around in a thong and I can lose a few more pounds! Keep it up Kirstie...so that I can't keep it down! :)

Mode of the Year

2006-11-07T01:06:00.000-08:00

Kate Moss was recently honored in London as Model of the Year. Apparently it was a close race between her and Naomi Campbell - the Brits couldn't decide if they wanted to honor an anorexic coke-a-holic who engages in risky sex with a major heroin addict who has been arrested more times than one can count.....orrrrrrr a super-angry bitch who beats the shit out of any woman who gets in her way. Tough choice.

Caption This Winner

2006-11-07T00:54:00.000-08:00

Oookay, sorry...my bad. I keep forgetting to post the winner of the latest "Caption This" contest. But *drrrrrrrrrum roll* I know everyone's been waiting with baited breath as to who the winner is....but I must finally reveal him/her as: squata_hey. Good job! I know it was hard fighting off the competition...

George Clooney and Julia Roberts demonstrate how they got their first movie roles.

And....because I want to encourage more participation with the Caption This and other pieces...I'm going to start offering some DVD giveaways. Yippee! (Hey, I didn't say they'd be GOOD DVDs).

Can I Get Some TV Shows to go with my Commercials Please?

2006-11-07T00:35:00.000-08:00

It's amazing that the networks managed to squeeze any tv shows in tonight in between all the campaign ads. So don't forget to vote...like we could possibly FORGET! We might not want to...we might not be registered...but there's no effin' way they'll let us forget with all these damn ads.

Despite the inundations of dee commercials and all of dees tings...I still managed to catch Heroes. Damn I LOVE this show the more I watch it. They leave me hanging every week. It seems pretty clear to me now that super-strong jail-breakin' daddy is a "hero", while schizo mirror mom is baaaaad. So what do you get when you cross super-strong parents who can pass through solid objects or hide a dual personality? Well, of course you get a little boy who can magically create dialtones. That's a nifty power to have. You know...cuz no one has cell phones these days. And when you're trapped in a dungeon, being tortured, you can always use the power of the dialtone!

Fuglier than Fug

2006-11-07T00:25:00.000-08:00

Normally Scarlet JoJigglybounce looks lovely and wears stylish clothes...but what the FUCK was she thinking here??? This dress is so unflattering. Did she lose a bet or something? I'd fire whoever made the dress, told her to wear the dress, and allowed her to be photographed in the dress. I'm sure it'd be fine if it wasn't for that poof in the middle. I would like to hear what Nina Garcia has to say about this dress.

And PS Scarlet...we know you have lovely tits...feel free to cover them up occasionally! ;)

Hells Yeah!

2006-11-05T00:28:00.000-08:00

This is the best cake EVER!!!! I love the idea of having a "Happy Divorce Party"...and I think the dead groom at the bottom with blood everywhere is an excellent touch! Shit, I'm going to have one of these cakes for my next break-up (since I"ll probably never get married). Shit, I'm actually motivated to look for another turd to date just so we can break up and I can have a cake like this!

My only question is, why is the bride so fat and lumpy looking with such a big budunkadunk?

Which Controversy Upsets You Most?
	Tom Cruise vs. Psychiatry
	Michael Richards vs. "Afro Americans"
	Mel Gibson vs. Jews
	Isaiah Washington vs. McDreamy and his "faggot"
	Kelly Ripa vs. Clay Aiken, Rosie O'Donnell and homophobia

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