Towels? Are you Fucking Kidding Me?
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One of the richest dudes in celebrity world - Tom Cruise - has generously had several sets of towels, with his and Katie's initials monogrammed on them, prepared as gifts for their wedding guests.
Umm...towels?! Give me a freakin' break! I mean, i totally get it...this wedding feels dirtier than the $2 whore who gave me panty roaches last week, but I'm sure Tom could have at least splurged on some golden statues of Xenu or something!
Fellow freakatologist John Travolta is reportedly going to be flying several guests in on his 747 jumbo jet. How surreal is that? Let's see...a whole plane full of scientologists and bad actors!? Wow...I'm smelling a golden opportunity to rid us of some mucho-annoying peeps. It suuuuure would be sad if that plane crashed into Tom's hotel. Ahhhh....I'm just joking...plane crashes are never funny.
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