Snooooozefest
________________________________________________________________ Dang...I need a celebrity to die, get caught in public snorting coke, leave their spouse for someone of the same sex or SOMETHING. I mean, don't get me wrong...it HAS been an exciting week...what with all the crazy Lohan and Britney partying and weird messages being posted. But come the weekend...things always slow down.
I wish I had something funny or interesting to post...but I don't. So just enjoy this youtube clip.
posted by Papa Razzi at
12:20 AM>1 comments
tidbits
________________________________________________________________ Apparently some christian conservative groups are annoyed that "Studio 60" will continue to be on the air because of its "anti-christian" themes. I don't think it is "anti-christian"....just "anti-funny".
According to the National Enquirer (ALLLWAYS trustworthy), one of Lindsay Lohan's inner-circle peeps has come forward saying the star is constantly mixing cocaine with oxycontin and vodka to stay up for days at a time...and then popping Ambien when it's time to crash. PFFFT please! I don't buy that shit for a second. She's totally a Lunesta girl.
People are worried about the message the movie "Blood Diamond" will send - fearing it will ruin the legitimate African diamond mining business. Frankly, I think people should be more concerned about the message "Charlotte's Web" will send. A whole new generation of kids is going to have to be freaked out that not only do spiders bite, but they also talk. And the bacon and sausage we love to eat really comes from a sweet, lovable talking pig. The pork and spider industries will never recover from this!
posted by Papa Razzi at
2:16 AM>5 comments
yo yo yo...you out there!
________________________________________________________________ Stef & Daph...do you not want a free DVD? If so, email me your choice(s) today sos I can mail them all by Friday. check the "caption this winner" post if you don't know what I'm talking about.
All in the family is gone....I know they aren't exactly top of the line...but come on...they're FREE! :)
posted by Papa Razzi at
2:13 AM>0 comments
A Letter to Britney from SPF
________________________________________________________________ Britney posted some shit on her website trying to be all cute and funny about her recent partying and lack of panties. Here's a screen cap from her website:Well, I happen to have a little time machine in my closet, so I went to the future, and was able to get a statement from MC SPF 420 (that's Sean Preston's rap name in the future). Here's what he wrote for me to tell his mom:
Dear Mom, if you're able to read this yet, I just want you 2 no that my life is kick azz and that you shunt fill 2 bad about how me and JJ turned out. Yeah, it wuz ruff hav'n 2 live wit pops yo and our 13 udder step bros and sisses at furst. But pops really helped us out wit our muzic talent and shit. I know you had to do your thing with all the drink'n 'n party'n. Pops said you wuz really a lezbo, and I'm down wit dat 'n shit. Then you ended up in da hospital for 2 years wit dat serious klamidia super strain or whatever it was called. The story in People was great tho...and no celebrity eva got so many damn panties sent to their hospital room b4. We wuz all real proud. N E waze, I no u ain't bin able 2 think rite since u died from alcohol poison'n and da docs brought u back from the dead...but I hopes u git beda soon. Lil' JJ only gots 2 more years of time to do after poppin' a cap in that ole bitch Lindsay Lohan's ass. That bitch had it comin' after she left dad and took all our dope with her.
posted by Papa Razzi at
1:40 AM>2 comments
Who The Hell Do You Have to Kill in Britain to Go to Jail?
________________________________________________________________ Will somebody PLEASE lock this fucker up? GEEZE? Seriously...why the fuck is Pete Doherty allowed out among innocent people when he has been arrested 17 gazillion times for drugs and openly admits being high 24/7??? In his latest scandal (if you can even keep up anymore), some British actor dude (Marc Blanco) fell 2 stories to his death after having an altercation with Pete at some party.
Now I'm not saying Pete pushed him...but he TOTALLY DID! Even if he didn't....he DID! I don't care man...you only get so many "get out of jail free cards". There comes a time when if it walks like a duck and smokes crack like a duck...then it should be a fucking locked-up for the next 20 years duck.
posted by Papa Razzi at
1:34 AM>3 comments
King of Queens Returns
________________________________________________________________ Hip hip Hooooray...the King of Queen returns to CBS tonight. Granted, it ain't the BEST sitcom out there....but I find it consistently funny. Plus there is just a lack of sitcoms in general (IMO) out there right now. This will probably be the last season for the King of Queens...so enjoy it while you can!
posted by Papa Razzi at
1:55 AM>4 comments
R.I.P MAX
________________________________________________________________ George Clooney recently lost his pet pig Max after a 18 year relationship together. George, if you're reading this...I send my condolences to you and I know Max is resting peacefully up in hog heaven. But I know there will be many nights to come where you'll be lonely late at night...and want something large and smelly to cuddle up to. And I'm telling you now, you're welcome over at my place ANYTIME you want. Many of my exes have told me I may as well live in a pig sty and that when I don't shower for a week at a time, they would PREFER to be sleeping next to a pot-bellied pig. I'm here for you in your time of need George. *wiiiiink*
posted by Papa Razzi at
1:44 AM>5 comments
The Break-Up
________________________________________________________________ Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn have finally confirmed their split. If you've been reading my blog for more than 2 days (oookay, more like a month) then you know that I've never believed they were really a couple to begin with. The whole relationship stunk of a PR stunt for their movie "The Break-Up" from the get go. I mean, I'm sure they really did enjoy each other's company and may have even had a romp or two between the sheets. After all, he's a horny dude and she was fresh from her divorce. But I think it was a pre-arranged thing the whole time.
Whatever though. As much as I like reporting on the gossipy stuff, I still think celebs have SOME right to privacy. I dunno...I'm probably easier on Aniston than I would be on some other actress who "lied" to the public about a relationship because I feel for what she went through with the whole Brad and Angelina thing. If anyone is gonna steal her husband from her, it should be ME, not Miss UN-Ambassador, child adopting, plump lips, plane flying, husband stealing, bisexual, perfect Angelina.
I do hope Aniston's next relationship is a REAL one and that she finds a great guy who won't ditch her. I still think she and Clooney would make a good pair. Or maybe Luke Wilson...
posted by Papa Razzi at
1:31 AM>4 comments
Caption This Winner
________________________________________________________________
Nicole Kidman laughs when she realizes standing next to two giant fake penguins is better than standing next to her ex-husband.
Congrats to Drakefn! Good try Steph and Daph...actually Daph, you were a little later than the deadline...so I had to be fair and not count yours. :(
BUT...I'm done giving out DVDs...they haven't seemed to boost the answers much....soooooooo....Drake will get first choice, then Steph, then Daph. But everyone gets a DVD! (if you want one of the crappy ones I have to offer!). Sorry I don't have anything better. :( All DVD
Email me your postal address and your choice (top 2 choices for Steph and top 3 for Daph) to gi_scarlet13@yahoo.com
posted by Papa Razzi at
1:16 AM>3 comments
By Jove...I've Got it!
________________________________________________________________ And I probably caught it from Paris Skankton...ewwwww....
But I think I know what's been going on with Brit Brit these past few weeks. She's got that same special power as that chick from Heroes -- you know, the one with 2 personalities. I always thought that was a severe mental disorder, not a superhero power...but whatev.
These pictures show Good Britney and Bad Britney. You can tell Bad Britney is just dying to flash us her cooch...but luckily that saintly man is stopping her. It's okay Brit...maybe Hiro Nakamura can transport to the past, save you, and save US from having to see your pantieless cooch.
posted by Papa Razzi at
1:09 AM>3 comments
Who's Your Daddy?
________________________________________________________________ Well...Eddie Murphy is pretty damn sure it ain't him! Not only has he split from Scary Spice, he's pretty sure he ain't her baby's daddy. He's telling reporters that he wants a paternity test. Ooooh dear! Is he claiming Scary Spice is really Slutty Spice? I think if the Spice Girls were to reunite, they'd all have different names.
L to R: Slutty Spice, Anorexic Ape Spice, Fucked up my Career Spice, Daddy Touches me There Spice, and Where the Fuck did I Go Spice.
posted by Papa Razzi at
12:41 AM>3 comments
Damn, I think Nick Nolte is Still the Winner
________________________________________________________________ of the ugliest mug shot ever...although Rip Torn is certainly giving him a run for his money.
But come on folks...are you really shocked??? His name is RIP Torn....as in rip roarin' drunk.
posted by Papa Razzi at
12:38 AM>3 comments
Breaking News
________________________________________________________________ This just in...Britney Spears apparently made it through an ENTIRE weekend without flashing her cooch! *whew* This is a major triumph for the soon-to-be-divorced singer. Even more surprising, she seemed to get her memory back and remember that she does in FACT have at least one child. Maybe by the end of the week she'll remember she has TWO kids and actually stay home and take care of them....shit, I know, I'm expecting way too much.
And just because I'm trying to be a LITTLE more positive...kudos to all the young starlets out there who are not constantly photographed 1) w/o panties, 2) being held up by Paris Hilton, or 3) with alcohol in their hands. People like Kirsten Drunkst, Michelle Trachtenberg, Scarlett Johansson (though she's too busy having sex with older men to go out partying), and ummm...I'm sure there's at least one or two more.
posted by Papa Razzi at
2:29 AM>3 comments
Prison Break Actor in Serious Car Wreck
________________________________________________________________ Actor Lane Garrison, 26, from the FOX show Prison Break was involved in a fatal car accident over the weekend. His SUV jumped the curb and hit a tree killing a 17 year-old boy and critically injuring 2 15 year-old girls. Authorities have not said yet who was driving or if alcohol/drugs were a factor.Of COURSE they were. A young actor on a semi-hit show hanging out with 3 under-aged people...come on...nothing good could come of that situation. I know...I'm probably jumping the gun here, but Hollywood is full of irresponsible rich assholes who think they are indestructible. Well, if alcohol and/or drugs were involved, I hope somebody gets what they deserve.
posted by Papa Razzi at
2:19 AM>2 comments
movie reviews
________________________________________________________________ Let's see...a few movies to catch you up on...
The Queen - a sloooooooow movie that looks at the reactions (and lack there of) of the Royal family and newly elected PM Tony Blair in the weeks after Princess Di's death. The acting is good and the subject matter is fresh/unique, but I felt like it dragged a bit too much. Maybe those of you with more patience than I will like it more.
The Holiday - cute, slightly long, typical romantic comedy. I didn't find anything fresh about this movie. Everyone looks great...especially Cameron Diaz and Jude Law. At first I was really relating to the "unrequited love" stuff...but by the end, we see that these characters make a ton of friends in the span of 2 weeks and fall in love, etc. Sheesh...I have a hard enough time making a few friends in 30 years, and these folks have close BFFs in less than 2 weeks. GRRRR That sort of improbable shit pisses me off. But, I was amused with a few of the cameos in the movie and Cameron's and Jack Black's careers. They basically have my dream job (in the movie). If you like romantic comedies, you'll probably like this one.
Candy - this is a small indie movie starring Heath Ledger and Abbie Cornish about a young couple addicted to heroin. I usually like drug movies, but I prefer them to romanticize drug use - call me old-fashioned! lol But this movie doesn't really show the appeal of the drugs or how they were seduced into using. Instead we just watch this couple go from one hard time to another and toying with the idea of getting clean. Overall a total dud.
posted by Papa Razzi at
1:58 AM>4 comments
Lance Bass tells Reichen "Bye Bye Bye"
________________________________________________________________ Well, the first (of sadly MANY) Perez-outed gay couples has reportedly called it quits. Reichen and Lance Bass have decided to end their relationship of over a year. That's cool...they're young...there's lots of buttholes out there for both of them. Sources close to the pair say that they had been fighting a lot lately. I wonder if this split will get as much attention as a hetero split. Guess we'll wait and see.
